"The History of Decatur County, Iowa: 1839 - 1970"

by Himena V. Hoffman
Published by Decatur County Historical Society, Leon IA, 1970
 
Social Life, Pages 133 - 134
Transcription by Carmelita
 
The greatest change in the social life was in the development of social distinctions. No longer was everyone in the neighborhood invited to a wedding nor were invitations to dinner given to anyone who attended church. Travelers now went to a hotel and did not expect to be welcomed as guests at whatever door they stopped.

Each town had its successful businessmen and professional man and their wives who gave dinners, receptions and "literary evenings". The sons of these men arranged dances such as the Calico Ball, an annual event in Leon for some years which only those invited could attend, and their daughters gave parties to which members of their social group were invited. The newspapers of this period described such events in detail telling how an orchestra played at an affair at the home of Judge and Mrs. Harvey or how the home of Mr. and Mrs. George T. Young was "perfumed with flowers" at a mid winter party and always gave the list of guests, almost always the same select few at each event. If the affair was an anniversary celebration or a wedding the gifts were listed and the donors names given so one knew who was invited and what they gave.

It was period, too, when military, professional and governmental titles once conferred, were continued for life and very often a man's wife was spoken of with his title, so one heard and wrote of Mrs. Major Young, Mrs. Judge Harvey, Mrs. Dr. Layton, Mrs. Senator Stookey and Mrs. Professor Harkness. In this time of formality there was little use of first names in the groups where titles were so highly regarded. It is strange however, that the only woman in the county who really could have claimed a title, Mary Knapp, was not Countess Zichy and such was the distinction of her family that Count Zichy was sometimes just "the foreigner who married Mary Knapp".

While women in this period had social position because of their husbands, some of them were women of ability and influence and while some of them, as did the older women who came here in the early days such as Mrs. John Patterson, Mrs. Josiah McClellan, Mrs. Sylvanus Arnold, confined their interest outside their homes mostly to church affairs, others were interested in community affairs and particularly in organizations. Some of these organizations were related to those to which their husbands belonged such as the Order of Eastern Star and the Rebekah Lodge. Others belonged to the Women's Relief Corp when men of their family joined the G. A. R. There were also some groups not connected with any men's organization. Kate Stearns, wife of Squire Stearns was a leader in forming a chapter of the P.E.O. Sisterhood in Garden Grove and this chapter assisted in the organization of a chapter in Leon. Just at the close of the period the first clubs for women in this county were organized. Women such as Martha Post Layton, Lizzie Brooks Stookey, Adella Lunbeck Ketchum and Kate Finley Arnold took great interest in civic affairs in Leon. While Mrs. Marietta Walker, Mrs. David Dancer and Mrs. Elijah Banta gave much of their interest to the church they too, were concerned as to community affairs as were others in Lamoni.

This was a period of formal dress and manners when business and professional men wore starched shirt fronts and collars, derby hats except when straw hats were required in summer months, and when a tall silk hat was proper for a banker, a judge or other men of distinction. It was a time of calling cards, finger bowls at formal dinners, and a small parasol to carry when riding in a carriage.

All of this did not extend to many families in the country. For those on the farm there was little change. Very few of the wives of even the richest farmers took part in the social affairs of the town or were listed as charter members of the new organizations for women. It was not so much a matter of exclusiveness but of transportation, of hours of work and of different interests and what is said of the women was true to a certain extent of the men. Social life in the country was more often limited to weddings and while the Granges were flourishing, to Grange affairs. There were, of course, exceptions to this separation between town and country people.

The social affair that was one that involved people in all parts of the county, both from the country and the towns was the dinner and reception given in honor of the fiftieth wedding anniversary of Mr. and Mrs. Royal Richardson of Pleasanton which over two hundred invited guests attended.

As far as Frank Garber's poem was concerned he did not write of social affairs and his only mention of women is that "Mrs. Darr sold women's headwear", "Aunt Jane Miller served the meals" and that "big black Maggie took in washing" and "Mrs. Hiatt sold millinery."
 
 
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