A history of Dallas Center would not seem complete without some humor of earlier days.  It is the hope that the following quotes gleaned from the pages of early Dallas Center newspapers may be of interest to both young and older citizens of our community.

          April 1878, Dallas Center Globe, edited by Sam G. Sloane:

The swallows came to Dallas Center on April 5th, as it is their custom.  Many may have never noticed this, but it is

          a fact.

Horseback riding is one of the pleasures now indulged in by a number of our citizens.

Twenty-five cents worth of old newspapers under the carpet will save ten times that much fuel.  They can be had at

          this office.

The trees in Mound Park now present a beautiful appearance.

An addition of fifty volumes had been made to the circulating library at the post office book store.  They are the

          latest works of the best authors and are all interesting.

The men of standing in this community are not the men standing around, loafing their time away.

What will the lawyers do when the electric light is substituted for "gas"?

Sportsmen in this area are happy over the prospects of an abundant crop of prairie chickens this fall.

          December 1878:

Friends, Romans, Countrymen!  Lend me your ear mufflers!

The deep snow has made the trade in boots a lively one, and dealers smilingly declare they would like to see more

          of the "boot-i-ful" snow.

          October 16, 1880:

The first snow and cold snap froze up numerous pumps and caught many coat houses empty and wood piles low.

          January 1881:

Postmaster O. N. Steele has a new cutter, and you should see him cutter 'round in it!

Coal, $5 per ton.  A car load of coal in this town lasts no longer than it takes a dozen men to shovel it into their

          wagons.

          In 1897:

So many runaways are chronicled we suggest that every buggy be fitted with an anchor which can be dropped by putting a foot on a lever.

          In 1920, by way of contrast:

Broken wrists are so numerous from cranking automobiles!

          December 1909:

The river is now frozen so solid that teams can cross on the ice.  Some of our ice men are already storing their

          supply of ice, which seems of fair quality, for next summer's use.

          In 1910:

Lost:  an automobile veil, between M. T. Snow's and town.  Finder please leave at Times office.

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